What can you do for your loved one?

Hello gorgeous reader!

I hope you are having a wonderful morning, afternoon or evening.

I have had a couple of people message me explaining somebody close to them has unfortunately being diagnosed with cancer and that they could really use some advice on how to help them and asking what they could do/buy for them to help ease any discomfort or to lift spirits.

Firstly, I could not imagine being on the other side of a cancer diagnosis. I could not imagine what it would be like to watch somebody I love go through what I went through and feel absolutely hopeless. Secondly, I know that my experiences and what made me happy or comfortable won’t work for everybody. I know not everyone is going to love a book of quotes and essential oils. And thirdly, depending on what this special person is going through or type of treatment they will receive, certain things I list might not apply to them at all.

I have curated a list based on not only what I loved and what helped me but also enlisted some help from wonderful women who are on 2 x Facebook groups that I am apart of. While there are probably 100’s of things I could list, I won’t. I have shortened down the lists down to what was most favored and appreciated.

GIFTS

Below are ideas of gifts you could purchase somebody that are more based around the idea of either; cheering them up, showing your love/that you are thinking of them, emulating positive thoughts or keeping them occupied. I was given a mix of these things just as I was diagnosed (lifted my spirits & let me know that particular person was thinking of me)

  • Inspirational / Quote books
  • Beautiful hand Creams
  • Coloring books
  • Puzzle Books
  • Art pieces
  • Journals
  • Crystals
  • Candles
  • Self love/care items (bath bombs, masks etc.) Just be cautious on these as some people have sensitive skin or can’t take baths)
  • Salt lamp
  • Air diffuser
  • Essential oils

TREATMENT GIFTS

The below gifts are mainly for somebody going through treatment (namely chemo and radiation.) These are things that I found I loved and were helpful

A good idea would be to make a little basket filled with both the below and above ideas.

  • Anything for nausea – you could go out and get all the usual things. Anything ginger, prppermint, wrist sea-bands, any foods etc.
  • Hot Water Bottle – I used TWO of these all the time! Body aches were no joke
  • A good water bottle as fluids have to be kept up
  • A nice, cozy blanket
  • Beanies, hats, scarves, turbans – whatever you think they might be into
  • Puzzles/board games
  • Magazines/ magazine subscription
  • Cozy socks
  • A good book – preferably not cancer related
  • A voucher of some sort – magazine subscription, food, petrol etc.
  • iPad

ACTS

I had a handful of local and small charities, organisations and family friends rally and raise money to be given to me. I know financial hardship is a huge thing for a lot of people going through treatment. So if you’re able to organize any sort of raffle or any way to raise money for someone – I know it won’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. Please do this properly.

Another thing I found really touching and helpful were people offering their professional services free of charge. This is a huge thing to be able to do if you have the ability to. These include beauty services (hairdressing, make up, treatments,) personal training, handyman. ANYTHING! If you’re able to offer a service of any kind that you think might benefit this person, I think definitely do it.

I understand that not everyone is able to go out and purchase gifts or offer professional services but I cannot stress this enough; acts of service or a helping hand seems to be the most popular among anybody who is going through treatment. It meant so much more than gifts.

The top 2 and underlined points points below were the most voted when I begged the question in the survey. This is a HUGE help. It’s hard for people to ask for help, especially if they’re used to being so independent.

  • Cook meals and freeze them – double check dietary requirements etc.
  • Offer to help out around the house – cooking, cleaning, laundry etc
  • Do a grocery shop for them
  • Offer to attend appointments with them
  • Offer to drive them anywhere – even if it’s just down the road
  • Offer to watch their kids or pets to allow time to breath, rest or getaway.
  • Offer to go wig shopping/looking
  • Send them a message every so often to send your love and let them know you’re thinking of them.
  • Ask if they’re up to hang out – I found that even if I didn’t exactly feel like hanging out and chatting to someone it was nice to have company around. I think a lot of people around me avoided asking because I’m usually the kind of person who likes to be left alone and will initiate hanging out if I wanted to. It was nice whenever somebody offered.

 

WHAT NOT TO DO/SAY

  • Unless you’re their Dr. or a professional don’t tell them what diet to jump on or what herb to take because it will cure them. If they really are interested they will look into it them self.
  • Don’t tell them that weed will cure them
  • Don’t tell them a story of your friends, cousins, Aunt who cured her/himself holistically
  • Don’t say ‘Call me if you need anything’ it’s too vague and 9 times out of 10, we won’t do it. Some people just can’t ask for help. Instead, just say you will be there at a certain time to do something. If they absolutely don’t want the help they will refuse.

 

I hope the above was helpful. I am so sorry that you, your friends/family have to go through this horrible thing. Stick together, and always look forward to better days.

I am only a message away if anybody has any questions or simply want to chat.

 

Love & light to you all!!!

Sofi xxxxxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

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