So it’s currently the night before my mastectomy tomorrow and I am feeling A-OK. I don’t think it’s actually going to hit me until I am laid down and ready to go into surgery tomorrow morning! Joe and I did another boob mould as he’s a perfectionist and didn’t think the one we did with everybody was realistic enough haha. It turned out great! **I got too tired and stopped writing haha* ATTENTION!! BOOBIES ALERT – Man I really took them for granted!!
I am sitting in the waiting room of exact radiology as I write this! It is a 5 min drive away from the hospital. I was up nice and early this morning at 6AM to drink my last bit of water. Joe and I then made our way here. I am about to get an injection of dye for my lymph nodes before heading to the hospital for the surgery. The reason for the dye is the doctor was suspicious of a couple of lymph nodes; she thinks they might be cancerous. The lymph nodes absorb the dye which then makes it easier for the the surgeon to remove – 3 lymph nodes end up being removed! I had an injection of 4 x small needles around the lump; they didn’t hurt at all! Just a small bite. In saying that I’m already becoming so immune to the pokes of a needle haha. After the injection I hung around for 10-15 min to let the dye settle before then undergoing medical imaging. This was about a 15 min process of laying down in the below huge contraption. Fell asleep twice, but completely painless!
I’m yet to cry! But I do feel it coming. I have gotten teary this morning reading peoples messages of love & support! I also get really teary whenever I think of my family and how upset they might be. That hurts me more than anything else.
I have been getting random sharp pains in my right breast just now – so weird!! I have never had them before. It’s probably realised I’m about to cut the little fucker off! #BoobBye
30/04/2018 / 01/05/2018
I am now writing from the hospital bed post op. I’ll recount all of todays events pre op! Following the above injections at Exact Radiology I head to the hospital around 9.15am. Mum was already there and and had pre-filled all of my forms. Within 5 min of being there they wanted me to head in and get all geared up. We quickly went through some further paperwork, got changed & I then gave my Mum, Dad, Little Bro & Bf kisses and hugs before heading in. Now like I said, their pain hurts me so as soon as I heard my Dads voice shake – I cried!! My Dad got us all in a little circle to say a prayer; I am not very religious but I have found that the whole praying lately makes me feel so safe.
From here, I head into another waiting room. I spoke with my surgeon who is so amazing! & anaesthetist (I’m yet to master the correct pronunciation on this word on the first go haha) I had made my surgeon aware that the fertility clinic has requested I have the marina (Progestin IUD) I have implanted in me removed. I got the marina roughly 4 years ago for contraception & as I will be undergoing IVF they need this to be removed because the hormones that the Marina produce will effect treatment greatly! She made some quick arrangements for a gyno to come into surgery while I was already under to have it removed.
I cried one last time to myself – these weren’t by any means sad tears, they were wow… this is happening tears. While the anaesthetists were doing their thing and getting me prepared I constantly in my head repeated to myself positive affirmations.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK, YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE BRAVE.
This helped me so much! I was not scared going into theatre; I was just so genuinely happy to be there. I even wanted to say thank you to everybody who was in that room as they were saving my life. They knocked me out real quick with the general anaesthetic before I could haha.
I was in surgery for approximately 3 hours; Everything with my breast went great! They had to end up removing some breast muscle as the lump had caught onto it. This will bring a bit of pain once the drugs wear off I’m sure. 3 x lymph nodes were removed! And it was all done successfully. They only had complications locating the Marina therefore could not remove it. After surgery I was in the recovery room for about 1-2hours. I don’t recall ANYTHING. I actually don’t even remember waking up, I was in and out of sleep. I woke myself up every time with my snoring lmfao so tired babes. After being in recovery they took me in for an ultrasound to locate the Marina – they found it! The little string that’s meant to hang out of your lady part was MIA so it was hard for them to do in theatre. I will now go back under today to have it removed! I cannot start IVF until this is done.
FINALLY after the ultrasound it was about another 30 min before seeing my family. It was around 5:00pm by the time I seen them; The poor things hung around for 7 hours! The real MVP’s. I had stopped falling in and out of sleep and I was hella chirpy lol. I had a little pain on my breast. But all has been swell! As I write this the pain I have now on my breast is very minimal! Although, movement is limited & it will hurt if I press against it or hit it but other than that just sitting here I don’t have pain at all. My left hand where they put the drip actually hurts more! I am so pleased with how everything is going so far. I know this is only the beginning my breast cancer journey but I am so proud for kicking this little hurdle in the dick. I hope I’m not speaking too soon & the drugs wear off and give me a run for my money haha. Seriously though, I feel great right now. Not sure when they intend on sending me home but I really hope it’s not tomorrow! I would like to stay another night just to be safe, but we will see. I won’t know more about my official diagnosis for another week or 2. Once I leave here, IVF will commence – my next hurdle!
As I said above I am so proud of myself. I GOT A MASTECTOMY! AT 23! I was shit scared at first about this decision but after the week of embracing it and backing myself, I went into that theatre yesterday fearless and so damn ready. I have NO REGRETS AT ALL! Why would I? I just saved my fucking life! As proud and happy as I am, I am yet to actually have a look at my chest. I have accidentally touched it a few times and can tell that something is obviously missing. It’s not that I’m scared or anything I just want it to kind of be a special moment; seeing it for the first time. I don’t want an orchestra playing or anything haha I just…. yeah I don’t know. But I am for sure going to have a look tomorrow! Excited!!!! :O
Side note/Random facts LOL:
- My pee is blue from the dye – I thought it was just that blue toilet cleaner stuff haha
- I didn’t know I could straighten my hair so I am having that done first thing in the A.M – girls!! FYI haha
- I am having to wear pull up undies/pads! That are also a size too small for me haha
- The wifi is so good here
- I’m too tall for this hospital bed hahaha.