PRE & POST MASTECTOMY! I DID IT!

29/04/18 11PM

So it’s currently the night before my mastectomy tomorrow and I am feeling A-OK. I don’t think it’s actually going to hit me until I am laid down and ready to go into surgery tomorrow morning! Joe and I did another boob mould as he’s a perfectionist and didn’t think the one we did with everybody was realistic enough haha. It turned out great! **I got too tired and stopped writing haha* ATTENTION!! BOOBIES ALERT – Man I really took them for granted!!

 

30/04/18 8AM

I am sitting in the waiting room of exact radiology as I write this! It is a 5 min drive away from the hospital. I was up nice and early this morning at 6AM to drink my last bit of water. Joe and I then made our way here. I am about to get an injection of dye for my lymph nodes before heading to the hospital for the surgery. The reason for the dye is the doctor was suspicious of a couple of lymph nodes; she thinks they might be cancerous. The lymph nodes absorb the dye which then makes it easier for the the surgeon to remove – 3 lymph nodes end up being removed! I had an injection of 4 x small needles around the lump; they didn’t hurt at all! Just a small bite. In saying that I’m already becoming so immune to the pokes of a needle haha. After the injection I hung around for 10-15 min to let the dye settle before then undergoing medical imaging. This was about a 15 min process of laying down in the below huge contraption. Fell asleep twice, but completely painless!

I’m yet to cry! But I do feel it coming. I have gotten teary this morning reading peoples messages of love & support! I also get really teary whenever I think of my family and how upset they might be. That hurts me more than anything else.

I have been getting random sharp pains in my right breast just now – so weird!! I have never had them before. It’s probably realised I’m about to cut the little fucker off! #BoobBye

30/04/2018 / 01/05/2018

I am now writing from the hospital bed post op. I’ll recount all of todays events pre op! Following the above injections at Exact Radiology I head to the hospital around 9.15am. Mum was already there and and had pre-filled all of my forms. Within 5 min of being there they wanted me to head in and get all geared up. We quickly went through some further paperwork, got changed & I then gave my Mum, Dad, Little Bro & Bf kisses and hugs before heading in. Now like I said, their pain hurts me so as soon as I heard my Dads voice shake – I cried!! My Dad got us all in a little circle to say a prayer; I am not very religious but I have found that the whole praying lately makes me feel so safe.

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DRESSED TO GO! FEELING MYSELF UP ONE LAST TIME FOR THE CAMERA. #BOOBBYE

From here, I head into another waiting room. I spoke with my surgeon who is so amazing! & anaesthetist (I’m yet to master the correct pronunciation on this word on the first go haha) I had made my surgeon aware that the fertility clinic has requested I have the marina (Progestin IUD) I have implanted in me removed. I got the marina roughly 4 years ago for contraception & as I will be undergoing IVF they need this to be removed because the hormones that the Marina produce will effect treatment greatly! She made some quick arrangements for a gyno to come into surgery while I was already under to have it removed.

I cried one last time to myself – these weren’t by any means sad tears, they were wow… this is happening tears. While the anaesthetists were doing their thing and getting me prepared I constantly in my head repeated to myself positive affirmations.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK, YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE BRAVE.

This helped me so much! I was not scared going into theatre; I was just so genuinely happy to be there. I even wanted to say thank you to everybody who was in that room as they were saving my life. They knocked me out real quick with the general anaesthetic before I could haha.

I was in surgery for approximately 3 hours; Everything with my breast went great! They had to end up removing some breast muscle as the lump had caught onto it. This will bring a bit of pain once the drugs wear off I’m sure. 3 x lymph nodes were removed! And it was all done successfully. They only had complications locating the Marina therefore could not remove it. After surgery I was in the recovery room for about 1-2hours. I don’t recall ANYTHING. I actually don’t even remember waking up, I was in and out of sleep. I woke myself up every time with my snoring lmfao so tired babes. After being in recovery they took me in for an ultrasound to locate the Marina – they found it! The little string that’s meant to hang out of your lady part was MIA so it was hard for them to do in theatre. I will now go back under today to have it removed! I cannot start IVF until this is done.

FINALLY after the ultrasound it was about another 30 min before seeing my family. It was around 5:00pm by the time I seen them; The poor things hung around for 7 hours! The real MVP’s. I had stopped falling in and out of sleep and I was hella chirpy lol. I had a little pain on my breast. But all has been swell! As I write this the pain I have now on my breast is very minimal! Although, movement is limited & it will hurt if I press against it or hit it but other than that just sitting here I don’t have pain at all. My left hand where they put the drip actually hurts more! I am so pleased with how everything is going so far. I know this is only the beginning my breast cancer journey but I am so proud for kicking this little hurdle in the dick. I hope I’m not speaking too soon & the drugs wear off and give me a run for my money haha. Seriously though, I feel great right now. Not sure when they intend on sending me home but I really hope it’s not tomorrow! I would like to stay another night just to be safe, but we will see. I won’t know more about my official diagnosis for another week or 2. Once I leave here, IVF will commence – my next hurdle!

As I said above I am so proud of myself. I GOT A MASTECTOMY! AT 23! I was shit scared at first about this decision but after the week of embracing it and backing myself, I went into that theatre yesterday fearless and so damn ready. I have NO REGRETS AT ALL! Why would I? I just saved my fucking life! As proud and happy as I am, I am yet to actually have a look at my chest. I have accidentally touched it a few times and can tell that something is obviously missing. It’s not that I’m scared or anything I just want it to kind of be a special moment; seeing it for the first time. I don’t want an orchestra playing or anything haha I just…. yeah I don’t know. But I am for sure going to have a look tomorrow! Excited!!!! :O

 

 

Side note/Random facts LOL:

  • My pee is blue from the dye – I thought it was just that blue toilet cleaner stuff haha
  • I didn’t know I could straighten my hair so I am having that done first thing in the A.M – girls!! FYI haha
  • I am having to wear pull up undies/pads! That are also a size too small for me haha
  • The wifi is so good here
  • I’m too tall for this hospital bed hahaha.

18 Comments Add yours

  1. Christine Arch says:

    Oh Sofi, your random notes cracked me up.

    I’m so glad to see you in good spirits.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. dawn says:

    honey you made me laugh and cry…wow 23 so beautiful and so brave…i dont pray either but i am certainly looking for a devine intervention…somebody said god only gives you issues you can handle and boy are you kicking ass..i am sharing this journey with you i am in awe of you sofi…keep kicking ass beautiful..love you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jenny says:

    Your amazing. Your strength is beyond words Sofi. I am so very proud of you. Your an inspiration to all her know and love you 💕.
    All my love Aunty Jenny xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lama Tuluauau says:

    What your doing is awesome..you are awesome..don’t ever give up..so brave and inspirating..I love reading your little journey through it all I think it would be so good for the world..but all prayers to you Sofia..wish you all the beat..keep posting and stay positive one love..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so so much for the love and your sweet comment! Appreciate it so much. Glad you enjoyed the read – Stay posted there will be plenty more xxx

      Like

  5. Janet Matautia says:

    I never read blogs, like Ever! Lol but you are such a beautiful, courageous soul. Thank you for sharing such a hard time in your young life with such a happy spirit. You are awesome beautiful Sofi ❤ Will keep you in my prayers xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Janet!! YAY! HAHA. I’ve never been a huge blog person either but I am LOVING having this outlet so much. Thank you so much for reading and for the love. I am glad you enjoyed it, beauty! ❤ Hope you and yours are well. BIG love to you xoxox

      Like

  6. Suzie says:

    So beautiful what a women 🤗💗💗💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Suzie!

      Like

  7. Jaye Sav says:

    Sofi, how is it even possible to laugh and cry at the same time. Your strength is so fucking admirable and even though this is not my journey I am so fricken inspired by you. Lots of love girlll xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My darling!!! BIG love to you babe! I am sooooo glad you enjoyed reading it! Thank you for your kind words!!! Appreciate it so much xxxx

      Like

  8. Cindy Leigh says:

    Omg Sofi you are so very brave! I love your strength and courage ❤️ You’re definitely inspiring people out there, including me xxxx all the best for your next tests and your future! Loving the blogs! And the hilariousness of it all! Much love x

    Like

  9. Linda Jacobs says:

    You got me laughing and crying too, well done Sofi, amazingly brave, lots of love 💕💋

    Like

  10. Katherine Leota says:

    Sofi ! Hey girl. You popped up on my news feed by someone sharing your story. I read over your blog and the journey your about to embark in such a young age.. damnnn you are one hell of a strong young woman! I just want to share a scripture with you. Hebrews 11:1 ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see’. God only gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. You have such a strong support system behind you and uplifting spirit. Never lose hope or faith because God got you. Your an inspiration! God bless Sofi xox will keep you in my prayers

    Like

  11. Helen Leota says:

    That Leota humour and strength, I am in absolute awe of your strength and positivity and the ability to still be smiling despite everything you’re going through! You got me all teary eyed when you mentioned your dad and his shaky voice. You’re his princess and I can’t imagine how hard it would’ve been for him, aunty, cuz Riley and Jo to see you go through all that, just as it is for the rest of us💞We are always here for you cuz and to say we’re proud of you is an understatement. The determination and your outlook on this ordeal is an inspiration not just for our entire family but I’m sure for alot of other young ladies out there that will be following your journey. Onwards and upwards from here cuz❤we got you always😘😘😘love you and love you mana💞💞

    Like

  12. Ronnie says:

    Amazing young woman! Wonderful to read you very personal insights. I’m sure your sharing will be of great comfort for others. You ARE brave and strong, I think this was so before your affirmations but none the less repeartungnit to yourself helps you to know it!
    Big Big love❤️

    Like

  13. Suzan says:

    Hi Sofi. Thanks for the acceptance to be a part of your BC journey. Wow your an inspiration, what a brave,strong young lady you are, not forgetting the fun bits you add, keeps the emotions witty, is a very difficult thing to do at this time of your life. Seriously can I say your def a huge role model. 💕

    Like

    1. Awww! No Thank you for reading and riding this journey with me! Thank you for your kind words and support. Means so much, Suzan xxxx

      Like

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